Inbox

[zazen]

Inbox

video ⬤ audio ⬤ text ⬤ delivery

jinguji jakurai ⬤ hypnosis mic
residential district ⬤ text
moonblessing ⬤ sanguis

info ⬤ permissions ⬤ kinklist

Comments

[champagnetower]

I've been trying to be okay with not having Doppo around, but I feel so painfully alone without him. Every day I did things for him, cooked him food, cleaned the house, woke him up. I liked putting a smile on his face and making him comfy since he's so stressed all the time. Now I feel so lost and empty.

[Hifumi knew Jakurai didn't have any memory of being here before. It was something he realized early on.]

That might be normal. It seems like it's different for everyone.

[He sips his tea. After he places his cup on the coffee table, he lifts up a small platter of cookies, holding it out to Jakurai.]

IM SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING

[zazen]

You two are inseparable. No matter how much Doppo has his moments. I can assure you that if he were here alone, he would feel the same way.

[He will take one of the cookies. But he will also put his free hand on Hifumi's shoulder.]

I want to help you feel not so alone. Please, let me know if there is anything I can do for you right now that would make you feel better?

same tho rip

[champagnetower]

[He knew in his heart that Doppo wouldn't know what to do without him, despite all the times Doppo has ever gotten frustrated with him for not being like a normal person. He didn't know if that helped make him feel better or worse.]

Sensei, all I can ask of you is what you've always done. As heart-broken as I am about Doppo, just knowing you're here helps put my mind at ease throughout the day.

[He sets the cookie platter down on the coffee table.]

Doppo is an adult. He probably doesn't need me. But I'm still worried about him, if he's sleeping okay, if he's eating properly, if his bald manager is constantly keeping him at work too late. I miss him so much that it hurts.

[He puts a hand on Jakurai's leg.]

If I lost you too, I don't know what I would do. I don't want to be alone and I'm so scared I will be.

Re: same tho rip

[zazen]

[From the looks of it? Worse. Hifumi feels like he needs to be there for Doppo, and in some sense? Jakurai would agree. The two of them needed each other. As odd as it is for two nearly 30 year old men to be living together.]

I am glad that I can provide you even a small amount of relief. Even if I am not quite the same as Doppo-kun.

[Patting...his back.]

Feel what you need to feel. Doppo is an adult, but the two of you are so used to being around one another.

[And as unpredictable as this place seems to be...?!]

I will not leave you if it is in my will to do so. I will always be here. So please, never hesitate coming to me.

[champagnetower]

I realize...

[He says, pausing before he continues. A thought that just occurred to him, a glimmer of hope.]

Had it not been for Doppo, I may never have met you. And had you not invited us to work alongside you, we may never have gotten to become close. With that said...

[He folds his hands together, setting them on his lap.]

I know I've pried before, and likely will again. But if you will allow me to learn more about you and become closer, I would be eternally grateful. And if you will allow me to provide you the same comfort you have for me a number of times now... I wouldn't mind. I'm always here for you too, Sensei.

[zazen]

I never intended to hide any part of my life from either one of you, past or present. Perhaps... it was merely the reaction I thought it may garner if I told you everything.

[Because they look up to him. They regard him so highly. That if he told them everything....they would leave.]

I want to tell you more, and I want you to tell me more as well.

[champagnetower]

[He thinks that's fair. It's apparent to him now that this is what he needs to do instead of holding things in to put on a display of sunshine at all times. He didn't want there to be another outburst like this to come over him.]

I can do that for you. And I promise that you are dear to me no matter what you have to say.

[A pause to have a drink of his tea.]

You are a wise, hard-working man. Anything you may have done only made you into the brilliant man you are today. And besides, someone once told me that some people have skeletons in their closet for a reason.

[Imagine learning something from Dice.]

lord please forgive me for this CRUSTY TAG

[zazen]

[But he doesn't want Hifumi to hide....or not trust him with these things. He wants Hifumi to come to him when he feels this way.]

The skeletons I bare are far more complicated than I have ever attempted to explain. But for you...I will make an attempt. I will be far more open than I have been before.

How does that sound?

[champagnetower]

[Hifumi smiles and nods, gently placing a hand on Jakurai's shoulder.]

Just you being open to doing that for me warms my heart. And, as always, you are welcome here at any time.